Today was another great session with my Life Coach, as we had not spoken since almost 5 weeks ago; a combination of both his post-Work plans and my extended Work commitments over the festive season.

To be honest, I had missed talking to him, and getting some feedback on how I was, or was not going. As well as respecting him professionally, I actually like him and could see him as a friend, we are of similar views even if we are separated by 20 years in age.

As the older of the two, it feels odd taking such quality advice from someone younger than I, as traditionally and functionally, it is older people imparting wisdom or guidance to younger ones.

About 40 minutes into our session, he did a quick recap of my progress and said that I have come a long way in such a short time, and after reflecting on this, I agreed. When I first engaged with him 5 months ago, I was likely heading for a heart attack, with all of the stress that I had, and always have internalized. The first time that we spoke, I was actively but subconsciously rubbing the centre of my chest with my hands, and I felt like I was going to vomit.

With some simple instructions and guidance, he got me to centre myself rapidly and calm down. Since then I have used those techniques when needed to take some time to myself and breathe, then relax before resuming whatever task I was engaged in. These days, I work hard to get myself centred and focused on what I am doing, and where I am at.

However, old habits die hard, right? Especially if you are a child of a Boomer, where almost everything in Life is a task to be done, to be faced head on … to be worked through. Today, while answering a question, I mentioned the key issues that I had to work through, and he stopped me.

He asked, “Why do you have to work through these issues? They are not technical problems to be assessed and fixed, they are Life events to be reacted to, experienced and used to your advantage.” This is an interesting position as due to my previous career and my family history, ‘as a Man’, everything is a task to do, and if you don’t then you are not working hard enough and being soft.

But he was right, I do not need to work through anything, I need to accept things and work with them, not at them; I was born and one day I will die.

Everything in between is something that I will have to experience, both good and bad, to accept that this is how my Life is, and realise how much of it is truly beyond my control. All I can do is control how I act when these circumstances enter my Life and move forward.

Accept it. Not Work through it.

Flex. Not resist.